The end of peer pressure

In his blog, “The Frontal Cortex,” Jonah Lehrer argues that self-control should not be seen as a purely individual trait. He points to some recent research which indicates that the ability to control one’s impulses is in fact strongly enhanced by peer pressure. Lehrer also points to the effects that "rituals of discipline" can have on kids' "sense of their own potential" - which reminds me of that great New York Times piece from a year ago, "Making Room for Miss Manners Is a Parenting Basic." I have been mulling a question related to all this: What would happen in a society where it has become the norm to tolerate all sorts of personal self-expression and self-indulgence. And kids and grown-up rarely experience much social pressure to conform to any standards of propriety? I guess Tocqueville and John Stewart Mill got that one wrong.