Mission (half) accomplished

The other day we were playing Uno (a kids' card game) with my daughter, who just turned 13. At one point I jokingly expressed suspicion that she was cheating and she responded: "I no longer do this." "So, I said, you did in the past?" This was (roughly) how she responded, half jokingly: "Well, when I was younger I would sometimes look at your cards when you went to the bathroom leaving me to deal. Later, I started feeling remorse and I would switch our hands if I hadn't looked at mine. And at some point I felt even more strongly that I should not cheat and stopped doing it." This was one of the proudest moments in my life. I was going to say - because I realized that I and my wife had raised a really, really good person with a keen sense of propriety and responsibility. The truth is, though, we never ever taught our daughter not to cheat. In fact, we have often encouraged her to be bolder and defy social norms. The reason she now has a conscience and knows good from evil - and I am supremely confident that she always will - is that her brain has matured well. As a result, she no longer wants us to buy her expensive presents, does not accept small sacrifices like giving her the last piece of cake left, etc. Psychologists now say our moral sense stems largely from our emotional sensitivity to the outside world, and this sensitivity is generated by the brain as it processes sensual and internal information. Maintaining a close emotional bond to our daughter, reading to her and encouraging her to read, endlessly discussing all sorts of issues, and generally staying involved in her life has helped. Still, given the amount of unhealthy temptations kids face these days, this miraculous outcome is somewhat of a mystery to me. I would have sighed with relief, but now she faces an even harder task: developing a slightly thicker emotional skin so she can survive and move forward in our increasing - it seems to me - heartless and more careless world.